What does it mean to embroider a face? What are the effects for the mind, heart, and soul? There cannot be arts and craft without emotional repercussions.
Each time I embroider a portrait, an endless group of processes occur…
First, the picture I will address must have a meaning. It can be good or bad, but it is necessary for the picture to make me feel things.
An empty picture is hard to transform, I need a look which hides things...I need doubt, like...What was going through the person’s mind in the moment, to have such an expression in his/her eyes?, that look so full of emotion.
And when you discover it, if you're lucky enough, it's simply amazing!, like when Kyle Reese (The Terminator) talks about Sarah Connor’s expression in the photo he’s holding in his hands, only to discover SHE WAS THINKING OF HIM!
But other times, you just don't know it...and you feel doubtful.
When I have the perfect picture, analysis begins...What am I doing here?, What must I do? “Just tear it apart”, says a naughty voice in my head -
Each feature, detail, eyes, mouth, nose… I take it and simply destroy it, transforming it into lines, colors, lights, shadows, smudges. Making decisions… this stays, this goes, this is not as important, but this is definitely necessary to keep.
And something similar occurs with the feelings involved with the portrayed. You take each one of the memories and analyze them, relive them one by one to know if they’re worth keeping.
You scuba dive in your mind, browsing each memory, and you savor them again. You feel the joy, you laugh with those jokes, and then transform them in shades and tones. Sometimes sorrow also becomes part of the process, and when it comes...You simply cry.
That combination of feelings and shapes mix to give birth once again to the image, the face, despite being the same, it's not the same image anymore, because its been filtered, extensively analysed, and also healing, in that you keep what's necessary to give life to the portrait, and once completed, all that's left to do is to observe and contemplate it for a while...It could be hours or even days, you observe until everything it made you feel settles in your mind and heart, until you're ready to let go and continue.
It may sound like torture, I don't pretend to be a masochist… It’s just part of the process of feeling… Poets write poems of love, musicians make you feel identified with their broken heart love songs… This is what I have to give, this is my way of closing that door, and opening another.
This is my way of saying goodbye.